I have 847 games and nothing to play. Help me pick my poison.

Okay gang, I need help. I just spent 47 minutes staring at my library, scrolled past the same 12 games three times, almost bought something new, closed the store, opened my library again, sighed, and am now typing this instead of playing anything. The situation: - Steam library: 847 games. Games played: maybe 87. - Humble Bundle backlog: 6 years deep. Never touched. - Epic Games freebies: I have 47 games there. I paid for exactly zero of them. They mock me. - That one game everyone says is a masterpiece: I bought it on sale in 2021. It's still in the plastic wrap. Digitally. So the question is — what do I do tonight?